Journalist's Report

February 21, 2008

Private Ham



The crew awoke this morning to find themselves mysteriously transported overnight to the planet Muddiola, where solid ground is not and walking requires knowledge of applied fluid mechanics rather than simple solid mechanics. Closer inspection revealed that the landscape was the same as ever, but that overnight rains had converted the dusty ground to muddy ground. Observing the condition of the surface, the crew elected to stay inside unless leaving the comfort of the Hab became necessary.

The engineers took the opportunity to make repairs. Zahra fixed a blown fuse on an EVA suit PLSS, Aravind watched over the plants in the GreenHab and planted carrots, and Chris amused himself by overseeing the delivery of more diesel fuel, repairing the leaking fuel valve, and generally fixing everything that was once nailed down but had now fallen loose. All this hard work was marred only by the simulated depressurization event that occurred when the crew’s resident Princess cracked open both airlock doors simultaneously, causing a massive “sim break.” Certain members of the crew elect to be straightforward and call sim breaks “kills,” but of course, simulated Mars only causes simulated deaths, so the crew remains as fine as ever, although the Princess has a commanding lead on the scoreboard now.

Happy news returned to the Hab when Zahra received good news from Earth: she was invited to a job interview. The news was so good that Zahra, Cass, and Guy took the pressurized rover to the nearest transport station, in order to allow Zahra to return to Earth in time for the interview. The entire crew wished her well and then split up her leftover possessions amongst themselves.

While the pressurized rover expedition team was away and the engineers did their work, the rest of the crew split their time between cleaning the Hab and working on science projects. One crew member, finding himself suddenly the inheritor of Zahra’s massive stock of water-free cleaning products, accepted the commander’s challenge to see how long it would be possible to go without showering. Concerned readers are advised to watch this space to see if this experiment has any notable results.

Now the crew awaits the return of Guy and Cass, and looks forward to their first loaf of bread on this mission.
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